I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
