i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Randomize
