last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
