if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
