i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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