Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
