girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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