From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
