I can tuck mytits in my pants
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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