do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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