I love black thongs
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
