if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
