so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
