i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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