you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
