i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm bleeding and have questions
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
