i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
