We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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