You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
