well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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