In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
