I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
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