so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm at about main and main street
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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