bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
