College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
