I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
