perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
