God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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