Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
