so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
