What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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