Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
