i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
