Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
