genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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