Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
