Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
