i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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