Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
