I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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