Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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