I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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