did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
