Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
