I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
