GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I can feel your judgement through the phone
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