I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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