evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
