Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
