Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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