Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?

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(925): View more from California

remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight

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(443): View more from Maryland

I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder

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(214): View more from Texas

I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits

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(406): View more from Montana

Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.

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(702): View more from Nevada

If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has

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