Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
