I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
